Children’s happiness continues to decline with the Children’s Society’s Good Childhood Report 2022 reporting that five children in a classroom of 30 are likely to have a mental health problem.
When they surveyed children and young people in 2024, they found that 11% had low wellbeing. They also found that 10- to 17-year-olds were, on average, most happy with their family.
The world is a more complicated place than it was when many of us grew up, with the launch of the internet and a whole online world that previously did not exist.
It’s a lot for a young person to navigate and can be particularly challenging for those of us who did not grow up with the internet so lack the experience of successfully navigating this space growing up.
With children being constantly bombarded with images suggesting that slim figures, trendy fashions, expensive toys, or other material goods are solutions to finding happiness, it is exceedingly difficult to determine what truly makes children happy.
The Children’s Society also found that many families also have financial concerns. This meant that many could not afford a holiday away from home, and struggled with the cost of activities outside school, and celebrating on special occasions.
Research into children’s happiness
The majority of positive psychology research has been focused on happiness and wellbeing in adults. As the field continues to grow and develop, there are obvious benefits to studying children’s happiness too.
Childhood is a critical stage of development stage that lays the foundation for psychological wellbeing and future learning development (UNICEF, 2016).
The prevalence of behavioural problems in children and adolescents is growing and is seen to be the result of unhappiness (Izzaty, 2018), highlighting the need for greater understanding in this area.
As well as this, there is evidence that happiness in children could be carried over into adulthood. Flouri’s (2004) research into parenting found that closeness to mother at age 16 predicted life satisfaction at age 42 in both men and women.
The Children’s Society point out that children’s happiness is a crucial marker of a successful society.
Additionally, happiness is an obvious parenting goal and extends into educational settings as happy children learn better. Understanding what makes children happy can also be factored into well-being initiatives aimed at children.
Asking children what makes them happy
To investigate children’s happiness further, Chaplin (2009) studied 8-18 years olds selected from summer camps in the US from lower middle to middle class backgrounds, from a range of racial backgrounds with an equal number of girls and boys.
They were all interviewed individually and asked to write, or verbalise, a response to the question: What makes you happy?
Five sources of happiness
Five sources of children’s happiness were identified across the entire age range by both girls and boys: People and pets, Achievements, Material things, Hobbies, and Sports.
The research also found that sources of happiness can change over time as children progress through to adolescence.
During middle childhood they found that people and hobbies were the most important contributor to happiness. This shifted from hobbies to material things by early adolescence.
By late adolescence, more importance is placed on the role of achievements as a source of happinesses and there is a shift away from material things.
The importance of people and pets to happiness central to happiness across a wide age range, which the role of the family key in in shaping the positive development of children and adolescents.
In fact, the family environment experienced by adolescents has been found my multiple studies to be a key predictor of how they function as adults, including their physical and mental health, as well as their well-being, and levels of academic achievement.
Happiness and family functioning
Looking into the role of the family further, Izzo and Pistella (2022) reviewed literature that looked at the relationship between happiness and family functioning in families with children aged 6–18 years.
Family functioning refers to family communication, effective emotional bonding between family members, the use of family rules, and how the family manages external events (Fang et al., 2004). Effectively, how the family interacts and works together, and the quality of family life that results.
It will be influenced by various including family structure, socioeconomic status, life events, and family relationships.
Effective communication within families
Previous studies have identified that, not surprisingly, effective communication is a central feature of high family functioning. This is particularly relevant during the more challenging time of adolescence when good levels of communication are associated with families being closer, more loving, and more flexible in solving problems (Barnes and Olson, 1985).
Open communication, where children can express their emotions freely, is associated positively with happiness and emotional well-being in contrast to hostile and avoidant communication, which has the opposite effect.
Reiterating this point, Zhao, Liu and Wang (2015) found that a warm and open family communicates provides a sense of security, emotional connection, and trust, which benefits overall levels of happiness and wellbeing.
When children can communicate well with their parents and feel supported, they are happier and feel better about life than when dysfunctional family relationships exist, which includes family conflict and a lack of cohesiveness.
This impacts relationships outside of the home as happy people tend to have stronger social relationships than less happy people (Diener and Seligman, 2002).
The strength of the family bond
In reviewing the literature, Izzo and Pistella (2022) confirmed that the strength of the family bond played a crucial role in children’s happiness.
They highlighted one study by Bennefield in 2018 which found that happiness is associated with feeling close to family members, doing things with together, and sharing interests and hobbies, especially in boys.
Children who reported more daily activities with family members reported higher levels of happiness, regardless of the type of activity (e.g., talking, playing, learning together).
It is not surprising that the researchers found family conflict and a lack of parental warmth to be associated with lower levels of happiness, even in late adolescence.
The quality of family relationships
Research findings into the differences between the importance of the child’s relationship with their mother compared to their fathers were contradictory and heterogeneous.
One study found placed emphasis on the importance of the maternal role with adolescents who had a positive relationship with their mother showing greater happiness than those where this relationship was poor. This association was not significant for the father – child relationship (Shek and Liang, 2018).
However, other studies placed a greater emphasis on the father–child relationship when it comes to happiness in adolescents (Ben-Zur, 2003).
It seems fair to say that the personality and temperament of the individual child will play a part. Research has found that children who were more social and active, and less shy, emotional, and anxious were happier (Holder and Klassen, 2010).
Undoubtedly the quality of the relationship with any parent is significant regardless of gender or family set-up. It follows that child with one positive parent will be happier that a child with two negative parents regardless of gender, whether that be a household with two mums, two dads, or a single parent.
Key to happiness is that they feel loved, supported, and that the family unit, no matter its size or shape, is a functional one.
Where the first emotional bonds develop
Sarriera et al., (2018) point out that the family is the context in which our first emotional relationships develop. It is in this environment that children learn to establish positive relationships of love and respect for others.
While it is not possible to generalise across all children in all family, especially when families vary in shape and size, Izzo and Pistella (2022) concluded that their findings demonstrate the significance of the family bonds and support, particularly when navigating adolescence.
They found that children and adolescents experience multiple benefits when help, affection, and understanding is provided by family members, which will undoubtedly affect their development of positive psychological experiences.
Wrapping it up
While we know that children enjoy playing with the latest toys, games and gadgets, the research emphasises that these material possessions are not the primary source of lasting happiness. Instead, emotional fulfilment, such as feeling understood and cared for by family and friends.
Engaging in fun and enriching activities, such as going on family trips, playing games, or participating in hobbies, often brings more happiness to children than receiving material gifts.
Quality time spent with family members, engaging in activities, sharing meals, and having meaningful conversations, significantly contributes to children’s happiness.
Children’s happiness is multifaceted
It is not surprising that children derive a great deal of happiness from feeling loved and supported by their parents, and that a nurturing family environment where children feel secure and valued is foundational to their well-being.
However, while the family may be the most important determine of children’s happiness, there are others too. These include social relationships, social acceptance, autonomy and achievement, school, college and the learning environment, the role of social media, and their digital lives, which also need to be considered.
Children’s happiness is therefore multifaceted, and the more we understand it, the more we maximise their wellbeing and ensure they have a good childhood.
Sources
Barnes, H.L.; Olson, D.H. Parent-adolescent communication and the circumplex model. Child Dev. 1985, 56, 438–447.
Bennefield, Z. School and family correlates of positive affect in a nationally representative sample of US adolescents. Child Adolesc. Soc. Work J. 2018, 35, 541–548
Ben-Zur, H. Happy adolescents: The link between subjective well-being, internal resources, and parental factors. J. Youth Adolesc. 2003, 32, 67–79.
Chaplin, L.N., 2009. Please may I have a bike? Better yet, may I have a hug? An examination of children’s and adolescents’ happiness. Journal of Happiness studies, 10, pp.541-562.
Children’s Society’s Good Childhood Report (2022). https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/good-childhood
Diener, E.; Seligman, M.E. Very happy people. Psychol. Sci. 2002, 13, 81–84.
Holder, M.D. and Klassen, A., 2010. Temperament and happiness in children. Journal of Happiness Studies, 11, pp.419-439.
Izzaty, R.E., 2018. Happiness in early childhood. Psychological research and intervention, 1(2), pp.64-77.
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Flouri, E., 2004. Subjective well-being in midlife: The role of involvement of and closeness to parents in childhood. Journal of Happiness Studies, 5, pp.335-358.
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Izzo, F., Baiocco, R. and Pistella, J., 2022. Children’s and adolescents’ happiness and family functioning: a systematic literature review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(24), p.16593.
Sarriera, J.C., Casas, F., dos Santos, B.R., Bedin, L.M. and Gonzàlez, M., 2018. Subjective well-being and personal relationships in childhood: Comparison of Brazilian and Spanish children. Interpersona: An International Journal on Personal Relationships, 12(1), pp.91-106.
Shek, D.T.; Liang, L.Y. Psychosocial factors influencing individual well-being in Chinese adolescents in Hong Kong: A six-year longitudinal study. Appl. Res. Qual. Life 2018, 13, 561–584.
Zhao, J., Liu, X. and Wang, M., 2015. Parent–child cohesion, friend companionship and left-behind children’s emotional adaptation in rural China. Child abuse & neglect, 48, pp.190-199.
