In his book, The Science of Happiness: Seven Lessons for Living Well, developmental psychologist Bruce Hood reminds us how happy most young children are, and how they seem to delight in the simplest of things, from puddles and dirt to snow and twigs.
Everything around them seems to fascinate them and they are curious about the world.
They live in the moment with little room for regrets about the past or worries for the future.
The drive for high academic grades
However, as a lecturer in the world of higher education, he noticed that often the joy and enthusiasm for learning was being lost in the drive for high academic grades, at a cost to happiness.
This led him to explore the field of positive psychology, with its emphasis on improving mental wellbeing, despite his initial scepticism towards the subject.
Positive psychology all sounded a bit too wishy-washy for me, but I was willing to give it a go.
The Science of Happiness course
The result was the creation of ‘The Science of Happiness’ course, which he piloted at the University of Bristol in 2018.
Psychometric tests used at the beginning of the course and the end, ten weeks later, showed a 10-15% increase in positive scores, which Hood considered highly significant.
Seeing this degree of change over a relatively short period of time left him convinced that it was possible to make people happier through science and education, and his book The Science of Happiness: Seven Lessons for Living Well followed.
Laying down the foundations
A key point made in the book references a study by Fleche, Lekfuangfu and Clarke in 2021 about the long-lasting effects of family and childhood on adult wellbeing.
Surveying a cohort of 17,000 British adults, the study found that our social interactions as children lay down the foundations of how we behave as adults, which, in turn, impacts on our happiness.
We’re able to learn to cope better with life’s challenges and setbacks when we are connected with others.
Of all the things in the environment that might contribute to satisfaction with life, such as salaries, marriage or romantic partners, it’s how well we got on with others as children that is the biggest predictor of our well-being as adults.
Happiness needs to be worked on
However, all is not lost for those who had a difficult childhood, as the author did, as it is possible to achieve happiness by educating ourselves on the subject and using the evidence-based techniques that are outlined in the book.
But just like physical health is only maintained by working at it on a regular basis, the same is true for happiness. It needs to be worked at and practised for lasting results.
We need the company of others
The point is made that our happiness depends on others. We need the company of others for both our survival and our emotional well-being.
We are socially dependent beings and have evolved to need the company of others. From the very beginning of our lives when an attachment to caregivers is essential to ensure our survival and healthy development, through to adulthood.
We have evolved to be sensitive to rejection, ostracism and feeling excluded, which can all have long-term consequences to our mental well-being.
A predictor of life expectancy
Social connectedness is also a strong predictor of life expectancy with those with strong connections likely to live longer than those who are lonely and isolated.
People who are connected are motivated to engage in greater self-regulatory behaviour, such as looking after themselves and using preventative healthcare services. Friends and loved ones can also encourage us to lead healthier lives by losing weight, exercising, getting more sleep and taking medication.
Being connected to others also helps us feel less isolated, our perceptions of threats are reduced, and we also benefit from getting a sense of perspectives by discussing our problems with those we are close to.
A focus on others as well as ourselves
We thrive in groups and a focus on others as well ourselves is a key to happiness. We benefit from helping others, and that help is often reciprocated.
Even when it is not, being kind to others helps us too when we feel good about the actions we have taken. It can give us a happiness boost.
If you want to boost your happiness, try a little act of unconditional kindness. It is best when the kindness is spontaneous and anonymous. Otherwise, we tend to rationalise it and it loses its impact on our happiness.
Flèche, S., Lekfuangfu, W.N. and Clark, A.E., 2021. The long-lasting effects of family and childhood on adult wellbeing: Evidence from British cohort data. Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization, 181, pp.290-311.
