After an incredibly busy day that left me feeling like I’d accomplished very little, I arrived home to a copy of The Comfort Book by Gill Hasson, and the timing could not have been better.
It’s a warm, uplifting book, beautifully illustrated, and provides support and reassurance, inspiration and hope to anyone in need of it. It highlights ways we can bring a little comfort into our lives without having to make a huge effort or big changes (as illustrated throughout this post).
We can’t eradicate suffering, but we can learn to navigate it and eventually transform suffering so that there are some aspects that are positive; aspects that provide moments of comfort and sparks of joy.
The book talks about the comfort that can found in enjoying small pleasures like the ritual of making tea, indoor plants, foraging for wild blackberries, picking flowers from our garden, walking in the rain, and having an afternoon nap.
It also reminds us to be kind to ourselves, not to expect too much of ourselves during those times when life is particularly difficult, and to take the pressure off ourselves.
When life is hard, we need to be aware of our limits, and just do the minimum to get by, accepting that is all we can do for now.
It talks about acceptance and how our minds can focus on next steps once we stop dwelling on what could, should or should not have happened. We should allow ourselves time to work through our feelings but know that letting go of them is what will allow us to move on.
This naturally flows of to the topic of forgiveness – reaching the point where we no longer feel resentment, frustration or anger as a result of someone else’s actions. Hasson explains that forgiving someone is first and foremost for our own benefit, for our peace of mind, and to allow ourselves to heal.
Forgiveness means recognising that you have already been hurt once, so you don’t need to let the offence, the hurt and pain keep hurting and distressing you by holding on to it.
The book stresses the value in reaching out to others and talking about things that have happened and how we feel. These could be friends, family, professionals – people we know will not judge us or try to fix us. Instead, they will calmly listen and comfort.
You might find that some friends or family members can’t handle your feelings. That’s OK. Everyone has their limits. If someone isn’t able to listen or talk with you about how you’re feeling, ask them to do something practical to help. Leave talking about how you feel to someone who is able to listen and talk about it.
On anxiety and worry, there are helpful words reminding us to focus on what we can do right now, in the present moment, rather than pre-living the future.
Too often, worries and anxious thoughts drag you out of the present moment and to an unknown future, allowing unrelenting doubts and fears and negative possibilities to overwhelm your mind and paralyse you.
One of the key takeaways from the book is the importance of mindfulness and paying attention to the little things around us that can bring us joy. To help with this, Hasson offers practical exercises, like focusing on your five senses – sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell – to help us stay present and grounded.
Activities that can bring our attention to the present include reading a book, watching Netflix, playing a computer game, doing yoga or meeting with friends – anything that keeps us focused and engaged and brings our attention to the present.
The benefits of spending time in nature, having routines, having a dog, and seeking and accepting beauty, are all discussed, along with the benefits of music, reading positive news, saying affirmations, journaling, and enjoying comforting food.
There are wonderful insights into the benefits of finding the good in each day, and of seeking and appreciating beauty, such as the details of a flower, a piece of art, a shell, a sunset, and a splash of colour in the neighbourhood.
The book also provides helpful advice on a range of topics including overcoming loneliness, managing stress, getting to sleep, coping with grief, and overcoming setbacks. Anyone experiencing those challenges in their life will instantly feel less alone on reading those pages.
In the section on creating hope and moving on there’s a reminder that things do change, and we can move on. Hope can be built up each day by setting goals and taking steps towards them.
The Comfort Book is a beautifully written, uplifting guide to creating a more mindful, happier life by embracing the things that provide moments of comfort and sparks of joy, and treating ourselves with care, kindness and compassion.
