Receive nine pieces of positive feedback and one negative, and it’s almost guaranteed we’ll dwell on the one negative. It will end up completely overshadowing the positives to the extent that we might give them no further thought whatsoever.
When getting ready for a party, it’s easy to worry about feeling out of place or falling over, drink in hand, embarrassing ourselves, instead of expecting to have a good time.
And when we have a headache, or other minor health complaint, some of us will jump to fearing a serious condition rather than considering common, harmless explanations.
Why we dwell on the negative
What’s clear is that we have a curious penchant for dwelling on the negative rather than the positive. But it’s not our fault. This a tendency deeply ingrained in our psychological makeup.
While this inclination might seem counterintuitive at first glance – after all, who wouldn’t prefer to focus on the sunny side of life? – it’s rooted in a complex interplay of evolutionary, cognitive, and social factors that shape our perception of the world around us.
Our evolutionary heritage
One of the primary drivers behind our fixation on the negative is our evolutionary heritage. Throughout human history, survival often depended on being hyper-aware of potential threats and dangers in the environment.
Our ancestors who were vigilant and cautious were more likely to avoid perilous situations and, consequently, survive to pass on their genes.
This evolutionary bias toward negativity, known as the negativity bias, is a sort of psychological armour that has been honed over millennia to protect us from harm.
As a result, we tend to pay more attention to negative stimuli – such as threats, criticism, or failures – than to positive ones.
Negativity dominance
In addition, from a cognitive perspective, our brains are wired to give more weight to negative experiences than positive ones. This phenomenon, known as negativity dominance, influences how we process and remember information.
Research in the field of psychology suggests that negative events elicit stronger emotional responses and are more likely to be stored in long-term memory compared to positive events. This cognitive bias serves as a survival mechanism, ensuring that we learn from our mistakes and avoid repeating them in the future.
However, it also means that we often ruminate on negative experiences, replaying them in our minds and amplifying their impact.
The role of social comparison
Social factors also play a significant role in why we tend to dwell on the negative. In many cultures, there is a pervasive emphasis on achievement, success, and perfection, which can create a fear of failure and rejection.
Social comparison, fuelled by social media and other forms of communication, exacerbates feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt as individuals measure themselves against idealized standards.
As a result, we may become fixated on our shortcomings and failures, leading to a distorted perception of reality that prioritises negatives over positives.
The media landscape
As well as this, the media landscape often amplifies negative news, as stories of conflict, tragedy, and disaster tend to garner more attention and drive higher ratings.
This constant barrage of negative information can contribute to a sense of pessimism and helplessness, shaping our worldview and influencing our attitudes toward the world around us.
In contrast, positive news stories, while certainly present, often receive less coverage and are overshadowed by the prevailing narrative of negativity.
A mindset shift
However, despite these ingrained tendencies, we are not solely defined by their predisposition to focus on the negatives. We also possess the capacity for resilience, optimism, and positive growth.
Research in positive psychology has highlighted the importance of cultivating a mindset of gratitude, mindfulness, and optimism to counteract our natural inclination toward negativity.
By consciously shifting our attention toward the positive aspects of life, practicing self-compassion, and fostering supportive social connections, we can reframe our perceptions and lead more fulfilling lives.
Accepting negativity
Acknowledging and accepting the existence of negativity is a crucial step toward achieving a balanced perspective. Instead of suppressing or denying negative emotions, we can learn to embrace them as natural aspects of the human experience.
By allowing ourselves to experience and process negative feelings without judgment, we can develop greater emotional resilience and self-awareness.
How to be more positive
To manage the tendency to dwell on the negatives, cultivating positive habits can help shift our mindset toward a more balanced perspective.
Practising gratitude, for example, encourages us to focus on what’s going well in life. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply taking a moment each day to reflect on positive experiences helps retrain the brain to value positive moments, counteracting the natural negativity bias.
Mindfulness techniques such as meditation can help us recognise and process negative thoughts without getting caught in them. This practice encourages staying present and reducing the emotional hold of negativity.
Seeking out positive social connections also helps. Friends and family can provide encouragement and remind us of our strengths and achievements, helping us move beyond negative experiences.
Working towards meaningful goals
Another helpful strategy for overcoming negativity is to focus on personal growth and self-acceptance. Setting achievable, meaningful goals can shift attention from past mistakes to future potential.
When we work toward goals, especially those aligned with our values, we cultivate a sense of purpose and accomplishment that naturally diminishes the power of negative thoughts.
Engaging in hobbies or creative activities can also be uplifting. These outlets redirect our focus to the joy of creating or achieving something tangible. Combining goal setting with enjoyable activities can effectively counteract rumination and reinforce positivity.
A more resilient mindset
Finally, paying attention to positive events around us, even small daily wins, can build a more resilient mindset. Noticing acts of kindness or experiencing nature’s beauty encourages an appreciation for the present.
Over time, these habits create a mental environment where positivity feels more natural, allowing us to approach life’s challenges with balance and optimism.
