The challenge I had in launching this site is firstly, not knowing where to start as there’s an overwhelming amount of content out there about happiness, positive psychology and self-development and, therefore, so, many things I could write about. A well as that, I found myself easily distracted.
The iPhone generation
While planning content, I found it too easy to click on to Instagram, to check the news apps on my phone, and to scroll mindlessly on TikTok.
Anyone who grew up without the internet will know it has not always been this way. There were times when we’d watch a television programme without having a second screen in front of us. We didn’t tweet or check Facebook while we were watching, but it’s now second nature.
I am certain that it was far easier to focus then than it is now. I’ve realised I need to be a lot more disciplined and focused. That resulted in me researching the topic of discipline, which led me down another rabbit hole.
Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday
In researching the subject of discipline, in search of solutions to my distraction problem, I discovered the book Discipline is Destiny by Ryan Holiday. It explores the concept of discipline as a fundamental virtue for achieving success and for living a fulfilling life. It delves into the importance of self-control, resilience, and commitment to our goals.
Learning from inspirational figures
Drawing on the lives and achievements of key figures such as Queen Elizabeth II, George Washington, Angela Merkel and Marcus Aurelius, and emphasising the self-discipline, temperament and endurance they displayed, Holiday talks of the importance of showing up, day after day, and putting in the work.
He also talks of the importance of having a balanced life, a good night’s sleep, a tidy desk, and of remaining positive in a broken world.
The importance of starting
The importance of just starting is emphasised, along with the fact that doing one thing a day adds up, and each day adds up.
With consistency and discipline, over time, the quantities add up and the results start to show.
Once something is done, you can build on it. Once you get started, momentum can grow.
Step into the arena
Holiday reminds us that life is about getting up and going. About diving in, even when it’s scary or uncertain or hard, and being committed. Of taking our shot, stepping into the arena and being strong enough to try.
It doesn’t matter how slow we go, as long as we don’t stop. And if we don’t show up, we lament what could have been.
Doing the hard things first
He talks of doing the hard things first to get them out of the way, and to avoid procrastination as that assumes there will be a later. There might not be.
Now is the time to start, not tomorrow or next week, or when the mood takes us. Now is the only time we have.
The graveyard of lost potential is filled with people who just needed to do something else first.”
The importance of enjoying the process
Crucially, he talks about enjoying the process, which is echoed in the book Feel-Good Productivity by doctor-turned entrepreneur Al Abdaal, and on having large blocks of uninterrupted focus time where you can focus on the task in hand and being committed to it.
The positive example of Queen Elizabeth II
He uses the example of the late Queen Elizabeth II who showed up day after day to fulfil her duty to The United Kingdom, the commitment she had to the role she had not expected to have.
How she pushed through her annus horribilis and how she stood, a lone solitary figure at her husband’s funeral during the pandemic.
Her view was that to make an exception and invite larger numbers to the ceremony would have been unfair to those who had not been able to do the same. She remained true to herself and her values, even in more challenging times.
The value of time
There’s a recurring theme throughout the book on appreciating the value of time and using it well, of identifying the times when we have the most energy and recognising what, and who, drains our energy, making it harder to focus.
Time wasted is also wasting us, and time is finite. Wasting time means missed opportunities to get better and missed opportunities to make progress.
Recalling my days of working from home during the pandemic, it was with some amusement that I read Holiday’s line:
Nobody does their best in a bathrobe.
Get up and get dressed
His point is that we should take a shower and get dressed in the morning in order to do our best work, even if we are not leaving the house.
Throwing a jumper over your pyjamas and rolling out of bed at five to nine in the morning to join a Teams call, is clearly not the most productive or disciplined way to behave, although I claim to this day that it did me no harm.
The importance of rest
In being self-disciplined to show up and do the work, day in day out, without distractions, Holiday also stressed the importance of rest.
We don’t just want to be fast and strong now – we want to be fast and strong for a long time.
The negative effects of tiredness
Failing to take adequate rest breaks, to really relax and to have fun, does us no favours, and burnout can take a long time to recover from. It can cut careers short and leave us feeling more fragile.
Tiredness can also result in procrastination, in making bad decisions, in having less control over our emotions, less able to work with others, and wasting time on the things that do not matter. Holiday says we need to be as disciplined about rest and recovery as we are about work, and this makes a great deal of sense.
A marathon of endurance
In the closing chapter, Holiday talks about writing the book as a marathon of endurance. He doubted his ability to be able to meet the publisher’s deadline, and even questioned if he would be able to write in it the first place.
Overwhelmed by the amount of research he would need to wade through to make a start on the book, he found a notecard in his study on which were the words ‘Trust the process’ scrawled across it in red ink. It also included the reminder that if he did the work, a book will be the end result.
Trusting the process
So, he began the process, unsure of where it would lead him and how it would pan out but starting means beginning the process and trusting the process.
And here we are, at the beginning of a journey into self-development, positive psychology and the science of happiness. Where will it lead? Who knows. I’ll enjoy the journey even though I am unsure of the destination.
