It is all very well being told to do one thing each day to move you towards your goal, but life does not always work out that way.
Working through some of the materials that I planned to use as content ideas for this site, I found myself reading a book that wasn’t really helping my mission. The subject matter wasn’t relevant, and it wasn’t until two long chapters in that I finally accepted this.
I had felt that since I’d started the book, I should finish it. There’s a term for this: completion compulsion” or “completionism.” It refers to the psychological drive to finish a task or project once it has been started, regardless of whether it remains enjoyable or beneficial.
Despite abandoning the book, I was left feeling as if I had lost hours of time being unproductive and I began to question myself. I was restless, unmotivated, and found myself switching between Netflix and TikTok to cheer myself up.
Continuous learning
There are lessons to learned from the experience of Dr Grace Lordan. When preparing to write her book Think Big: Take Small Steps and Build the Future You Want, she was acutely aware that her skill was in academic writing. So writing a book for the general public was new to her. Not discouraged by this, she set herself on a course of continuous learning.
To achieve this, she scheduled time for learning into every working day. However, on at least one occasion every week, distracted by whoever or whatever needed her attention that day, she admits she failed to show up.
Rather than berate herself for this, the behavioural science professor set out the materials she planned to look at, so they were easily accessible the next day. She got back on the horse and recommitted to the task in hand.
Energised by this approach, I started my next piece of research, and in doing so I realised that to be human is to have slow days and days when we are less productive.
Taking the first step on a new venture may get us off the starting blocks, but to be committed means to keep moving forward even on the days when you find yourself with obstacles in your path. To continue the journey means to successfully navigate them and keep going.
Overcoming obstacles
In his book The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday points out that obstacles are an inevitable part of life and should be embraced rather than avoided. He views obstacles not as hindrances, but as opportunities for growth and improvement.
Obstacles can be physical, emotional, mental, real or imagined. They could be a lack of funds, a lack of understanding, a lack of motivation, anxiety, overwhelm, our height, our race … it’s an endless list.
Some people are paralysed by them obstacles they face, while others can use them to their advantage and as fuel to move forward. They transform negative situations and setbacks into a learning opportunity, or a skill set. They use what held them back to move forward.
How we perceive the obstacle
Holiday argues that what matters in not the obstacles, but how we see them, react to them and whether we keep our composure. It is our perceptions.
We can choose to react with primal feelings of panic, anger and despair, or understand that we have control over our reactions and allow ourselves to see situations more rationally.
There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about the event.
Our mind remains our own
No matter the circumstances, our mind remains our own. As well as this, stressing about the situation doesn’t add anything constructive. It just creates a problem on top of a problem.
Too often we react emotionally, get despondent, and lose perspective. All that does is turn bad things into really bad things. Unhelpful perceptions can invade our minds – that sacred place of reason, action and will – and throw off our compass.
The perceiving eye and the objective eye
Holiday talks about the perceiving eye seeing more than is there. It brings more issues to the fight. It adds drama, emotion, negativity and sees things that are not there.
The objective eye sees events clearly, without distractions, exaggerations, and misconceptions. It takes things as they are.
As well as this, a setback is a moment in our life. It is not our life.
Acting without thinking
When faced with a challenge, we are quick to think, perceive, and act, all in a matter of milliseconds. The ability not to react that way takes practise, together with an appreciation of what we can control, and we can’t.
We can control our emotions, attitudes, decision, judgements, and how we view things. We can’t control other people, the weather, the political climate, the economy, and so on.
Changing our perspective
Changing the way we look at the obstacle also helps. Holiday writes that “… when we break something apart, or look at something from a new angle, it loses its power over you.”
Looking at things in a different way cuts obstacles and setbacks down to size.
Not getting a job might mean a better one comes along. Getting rejected by a publisher doesn’t mean our book isn’t good enough, it means we just need to try different publishers, as J.K Rowling can attest to. In setbacks, there are opportunities if you look hard enough.
How we approach, view, and contextualise an obstacle, and what we tell ourselves it means, determines how daunting and trying it will be to overcome.
Controlling the controllable
We can choose to give up, to stress, to worry, to over-analyse, to add meaning where none exists, to get angry, or we can choose not to. It is within our control.
To focus on things we cannot control is just wasting time and energy, and can ultimately be self-destructive.
Living in the present
Holiday also discusses the importance of living in the present and taking things day by day, rather than focusing on the monsters that may or may not lie ahead.
We could decide not to do something for worry we might fail in the future, and then miss the opportunity that could lead to happiness and success.
Taking action
Not to try, means we accomplish nothing. We must get up, get started, take action with boldness and persistence, and keep moving forward.
Just because the conditions aren’t exactly to your liking, or you don’t feel ready yet, doesn’t mean you get a pass. If you want momentum, you’ll have to create it yourself, right now, by getting up and getting started.
His advice to tackling obstacles that feel insurmountable, and to see the opportunity within it, is to be objective, control emotions, steady your nerves, put things into perspective, revert to the present moment, and focus on what can be controlled.
Doing new things invariably means obstacles. A new path is, by definition, uncleared.
Losing focus and feeling like I’ve wasted time and been unproductive is not something to dwell on and attach meaning to. It is what it is. Now on to the next step.
