Spend any time on Instagram and you would think that everyone is living the perfect life full of days out, fun activities, and relaxing time with friends. We know that is not the case because everyone has down days and more difficult days. No one is happy all the time.
We also know that a photograph does not reflect the real picture. The reality is that there can be a lot going on behind the smile. Yet it is easy to forget that as we scroll our Instagram feed and happiness jumps out from the screen.
One book that helps with the darker days and reminds us that it’s ok not to be ok, is a book by the same name by Claire Chamberlain.
It’s OK Not to Be OK is a delightful hardback book, small enough to keep in our bag, and is full of uplifting quotes, inspiring ideas and practical tips to help on those more difficult days.
As isolating and sadness, emptiness, anxiety or depression can feel, there are people who understand and care. This book is for anyone not feeling OK right now, for whatever reason.
It includes a reminder to accept ourselves as we are in this moment, to accept that we are all perfectly imperfect, and to adopt a nurturing mindset.
Chamberlain addresses the very real fact that we may not feel we deserve happiness, contentment or love, which can result in an unconscious resistance to growth and change.
To move on, even from the difficult experiences of trauma, loss and shame, we need to be gentle with ourselves and view ourselves through a more positive lens. Even though this is hard, we deserve better and must never give up on ourselves.
Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into a person you are not ~ Paulo Coelho.
The book helpfully educates on mental health with short but informative pages on the challenges of stress, anger, panic attacks, alcohol or drug abuse, disordered eating, self-injury, and suicidal feelings, with advice at the end of seeking professional help.
The section on being kind to our bodies gives helpful tips on eating well, getting outside in the fresh air, moving more, and sleeping better. It serves as a helpful reminded that mind and body are connected, and we need to take a holistic approach to health.
My favourite section covered the importance of being kind to our minds, particularly around the topic of automatic thoughts, which can become damaging and draining.
They simply buzz around our heads creating noise – narrating, interpreting, judging. The thoughts are created by your brain to help you make sense of the world around you, but some of them can become intrusive, especially if you are prone to negative thinking.
I also found the messaging around facing your fears, ceasing judgement and accepting the uncertainty of life, very helpful.
Judging yourself negatively by criticizing your own actions, thoughts or appearance, or by constantly comparing yourself to others, is a highly self-destructive habit that only serves to undermine your confidence and sense of self-worth.
Taking responsibility for the way we respond to external events is another powerful message. There is much we can’t control, but we can work on controlling our thoughts, reactions and behaviour. My experience is that this takes a lot of practise, but the rewards are worth the effort.
Journaling, cultivating a positive, more optimistic outlook, and spending time with positive people are all covered, as well as meditating, breathing more deeply and practising mindfulness.
So much is packed into the book’s 159 pages and there are lessons in there for all of us, whether we struggle with our mental health or not. It’s a guide to looking after yourself, being kind to yourself and knowing you are not alone, supported by powerful quotes and positive affirmations.
The book ends with sources of help including Anxiety UK, Beat, The Calm Zone and Mind. Not only it is a wonderful gift to ourselves, but also to a friend or family member in need.
It’s OK Not to Be OK by Claire Chamberlain is published by Summersdale.
