Reading on the cover of Mo Gawdat’s book Solve for Happy that he was the former Chief Business Officer at Google X, I imagined that he would have led a successful life without the challenges that many of us face.
After all, he’d had the privilege of working for Google with all the prestige, benefits and high salaries that come with it.
I imagined that the content of the book would be unrelatable. But that changed as soon as I read the very first sentence: Seventeen days after the death of my wonderful son, Ali, I began to write and couldn’t stop.
For a moment that sentence stopped me in my tracks, and I had to re-read the sentence to make sure I’d read it correctly. I had.
Intrigued as to someone who had experienced such tragedy could go on to write a book about happiness, I read on.
Mo Gawdat’s definition of happiness
No single definition of happiness exists in the field of positive psychology. This is because happiness is seen as a complex and multifaceted concept that varies widely depending on cultural, philosophical, psychological, and individual perspectives.
For example, in some Eastern cultures, happiness may be more about harmony and balance, while in many Western cultures, it often centres around individual achievement and personal satisfaction.
As well as this, various philosophical and religious traditions offer different definitions of happiness. Buddhism associates happiness with inner peace and detachment from desires, while utilitarian philosophy defines happiness as the greatest good for the greatest number.
Despite the lack of a clear definition, Mo Gawdat provides his own. It doesn’t include the terms commonly used in positive psychology like Subjective Well-Being, Eudaimonic Happiness, and Hedonic Happiness, but instead provides something instantly relatable.
Happiness is that glorious feeling when everything seems right, when all life’s twists and turns and jagged edges seem to fit together perfectly. In those often all-too brief flickers of genuine happiness, every thought in your head is agreeable, and you wouldn’t mind if time stood still, and the present moment extended forever.
Happiness comes from within
He is describing a time when we feel a sense of satisfaction, contentment, and peace – something that so many people search for, in careers, in wealth, in relationships, but don’t always find.
As Gawdat points out, that’s because they are looking for it in the wrong place. Happiness comes from within. He describes it as our ‘default state’ and you only have to look at children happily playing to witness that.
The happiness of children
Even in parts of the world where they have very little, you can still see children happily playing. On a visit to Cameroon with UNICEF many years ago, I met children playing together. They had one toy between them – a wooden homemade car, and they played with it together, faces beaming as if they did not have a care in the world. They were happy.
But over time belief systems, pressure from parents or society, and the expectations placed on us can override our natural ability to be happy. Despite this, we can unlearn and reverse the effects of this.
Gawdat recommends taking the time to make a list of what really makes us happy. That might seem easy, but it does take some thinking about to work out what we really enjoy and exactly what it is that adds happiness and pleasure to our lives.
Small pleasures
It’s often the small pleasures rather than the big purchases that makes us happy. In its book of the same name, The School of Life lists what makes life truly valuable and provides insight into each.
Included in the list of 52 are:
- Looking at the stars a night from your bedroom window.
- Spending time with a friend who truly listens.
- Lying in a hot bath, uncovered yet cosy.
- Driving on a motorway at night.
- Noticing the light filtering through the gap in the curtains on a Sunday morning.
- Wearing your old favourite jumper curled up in front of the television.
- Going on a midnight walk and having the whole world to yourself.
- Lying in a field looking up at the sky.
- Making daisy chains.
We’re seeking to build a philosophy of appreciation that encourages us to explore more deeply – and get more out of – the many sources of happiness that are currently a bit neglected.
Gawdat points out that finding the things that make us happy and factoring them into our lives, helps us feel grateful. We’re able to acknowledge the truth about our modern lives and the fact there is plenty to be happy about.
