We all know the importance of self-care for good mental health. It can be challenging to fit this into our lives even when life is running smoothly, aside from the normal ups and downs. But when it comes to a mental health crisis, just at the very time we need to care for ourselves most, it becomes virtually impossible to manage.
When our mental reserves are low, even basic tasks can seem overwhelming. Cooking, cleaning, paying bills, doing the laundry – all can require monumental effort. Not surprisingly, self-care falls to the bottom of our list of priorities.
The Unique Challenge of Self-Care
During a mental health crisis, self-care can feel insurmountable. Depression, anxiety, or emotional exhaustion often deplete the energy and motivation required for even the simplest acts of care.
This isn’t laziness or a lack of willpower – it’s the result of a very real struggle to cope. Low energy, overwhelming emotions, and negative thought patterns that sap our motivation, can make self-care difficult.
It can also be difficult to think clearly and rationally, and we might not even recognise that we are not taking care of ourselves properly. We might feel that we don’t deserve to look after ourselves, or have others support us.
When in that negative, self-depreciating frame of mind, it is so easy to feel that we are, once again, failing at life. We’re struggling to do the bare minimum and beating ourselves up for it, which helps no one.
If a broken leg made it difficult to do daily tasks, we would not have the same internal dialogue. We’d accept that we are injured and know we need to allow ourselves time to heal.
Reframing our expectations
Rather than engage in negative self-talk, which is incredibly easy to do, we need to reframe our expectations. We won‘t be able to operate at our usual level. We need to be compassionate towards ourselves and give ourselves permission to pause for a while.
We would insist that a friend or loved one going through a difficult time focused on getting themselves well and made that their top priority. We wouldn’t be pushing them to operate at their normal level and berating them when they can’t.
It always harder to apply this advice to ourselves, but it is as this exact time that we need to be kind to ourselves and cut ourselves some slack. We are unlikely to ever speak to a friend, or anyone else for that matter, in the cruel, bullying way we often speak to ourselves.
Self-Care can be the simple things
We can often assume that self-care is going to require significant time, money, or effort – like spa days or vacations – which can make it feel inaccessible. But there are small, simple actions that can feel easier, such as making a herbal tea, taking a short walk, or reading a few pages of a book.
It could be something as sitting quietly in a room for half an hour listening to music, lighting a scented candle, turning on fairy lights and creating a cosy, calm environment. Or eating a nourishing meal, even if it is prepared for us because it is not yet something we can manage ourselves.
Sometimes taking that one small step to care for ourselves a little more, can start off the process of valuing ourselves, being kinder to ourselves, less critical, and more nurturing. These are all needed for better mental health.
Recovering from a mental health crisis takes time. We need to allow ourselves that time, know we are worthy of self-care, and give ourselves permission slow down, prioritise our well-being, and accept the care and support around us.
