Opening my delivery of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up this morning, I glanced around the messiness of my bedroom and wondered if I would ever be able to live in a tidy home. Over several decades, I am yet to achieve this. I doubt it is possible.
Despite this, I am looking forward to reading more about the KonMari Method in Marie Kondo’s book and being inspired. Decluttering and tidying up can definitely lead to a clearer mind and a more intentional way of living. But until then, I am celebrating the joy of messy, because it is not all bad.
Perfection on social media
There is definitely pressure to maintain a perfectly tidy home, especially when you look on social media. It is full of images of spotless living rooms, minimalist kitchens, and pristine bedrooms that seem to have no trace of everyday life.
They are stunning to look at, but the reality is, a messy home can be a healthy and realistic reflection of a life well-lived.
Manuals on domestic management
As long ago as the 1700s, women were being educated on the importance of maintaining a neat and tidy home, and given manuals on domestic management to learn from. As a result, a neat and tidy home was perceived as the norm (Baudrillard 1968; Munro and Madigan 1999).
It was also a reflection of social status and standard of worth, separating the bourgeoisie from the working classes (Laermans and Meulders 1999).
Media and marketing messages
Today, magazines focusing on the ideal home, companies like Ikea, TV programmes focused on transforming your home, and exhibitions like the Ideal Home Show, all push the narrative that homes need to be tidy, organised, and free of mess.
Home organising products, such as stackable bins, drawer organisers, closet organising systems, organising apps, and professional organising services, are just some of the things that have been developed to encourage us to be organised and tidy.
Many consumers accept without dissent or doubt the vision of the ideal home promoted by the media and marketing that makes us believe that mess is dangerous (Campkin and Cox 2007; CrimethInc. 2000).
Embrace a little chaos
There’s no shame in embracing a little chaos. In fact, there are many reasons why it’s okay – and even beneficial – to let go of the idea that your home needs to be spotless all the time.
Homes are for living in, and relaxing in, and escaping the world that exists outside its walls.
For some, their home needs to be immaculate. For the rest of us, there’s no harm in a little mess, especially if you have children or teenagers living there. Adult children are little better, I’ve discovered.
A Messy Home Can Reflect a Full Life
A messy home often means that a home is full of life, energy, and activities. It’s a sign that people are living in it—playing, cooking, creating, and spending time together.
Toys or video games scattered across the living room floor might mean that kids had a fun afternoon. A pile of books on the coffee table could mean that we’ve been immersed in the wonderful world of books.
A little clutter can be a testament to the fact that we’re prioritising experiences over appearances, and that leaves little time to tidy everything up afterwards.
Mess Isn’t the Same as Dirt
It’s important to differentiate between a messy home and an unclean one. Mess usually means clutter – things are out of place or not perfectly organised. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the home is dirty.
It’s okay to have a few dishes in the sink or laundry that needs folding. A little bit of clutter doesn’t make us a bad home-keeper or a neglectful person; it simply means that other things have taken priority.
And those priorities might be far more fulfilling than keeping a perfectly organised home.
It’s a completely different story if mental health struggles mean we’re are not able to clean or have a tendency to hoard. That needs help and support from professionals, and is not what we are talking about here.
Mental Health Matters More Than Perfection
The constant pressure to maintain a perfectly clean home can take a toll on mental well-being. A home should be a place where you feel relaxed, not a source of stress. Allowing a little mess means giving ourselves permission to rest, unwind, and focus on what truly matters in our world.
When we let go of the need for perfection, we can enjoy our homes as they are, without constantly worrying about tidying up. It’s okay if our home looks lived-in – it’s our sanctuary, not a showroom.
Everyone Has Messy Moments
The reality is that most people have messy homes at some point. We all have days when we’re too tired to clean up after ourselves or too busy to get around to tidying.
Those picture-perfect homes we see online are often staged, carefully curated snapshots that don’t represent everyday reality.
Behind every beautifully decorated space, there’s likely a drawer or closet filled with odds and ends. Remembering this can help ease the pressure to keep up appearances and remind us that it’s okay to be a little messy.
Messiness Can Spark Creativity
A little bit of chaos can actually be inspiring. Creative minds often thrive in environments that are less rigidly structured. A messy desk might mean we’re in the middle of an exciting project, and a disorganised craft space can mean we’re exploring new ideas.
Embracing messiness allows room for spontaneity and inspiration, fostering an environment where creativity can flow freely. The most creative people I know do not have tidy homes.
A home filled with projects in progress, hobbies, and personal touches has more character than a space that feels cold and overly controlled.
Focus on What Matters Most
Life is busy, and sometimes, there are simply more important things to focus on than keeping a tidy home. Spending time with loved ones, enjoying our hobbies, or even just taking a moment for ourselves can be far more valuable than keeping up with household chores.
A home should be a place where you feel free to focus on what makes you happy, whether that’s cooking a big family dinner, reading a good book, or simply taking a nap without worrying about cleaning up first.
Embrace the Imperfection
There is a certain charm in a home that is lived in – a place where things don’t always have to be in their proper place.
Messiness can be a sign of a life that is rich with activity and love. Rather than striving for perfection, focus on creating a space that feels good to you and the people you share it with.
After all, a little mess is nothing compared to the warmth, comfort, and happiness that comes from truly feeling at home.
Let go of the pressure to be perfect. There is beauty in embracing a little mess and finding joy in the spaces we create for ourselves, no matter how imperfect they might be.
Sources
Baudrillard, Jean (1968), Le syste`me des objets, Paris: Gallimard. (1998), Socie ́te ́ de consommation: Ses mythes, ses structures, London: Sage.
Campkin, Ben, and Rosie Cox (2007), Dirt: New Geographies of Cleanliness and Contamination, London: IB Tauris.
CrimethInc, Workers’ Collective (2000), Days of War, Nights of Love, Olympia: CrimethInc. Free Press.
Laermans, Rudi, and Carine Meulders (1999), “The Domestication of Laundering,” in At Home: An Anthropolgy of Domestic Space, ed. Irene Cieraad, Syracuse, NY: Syracuse University Press, 118–29.
Munro, Moira, and Ruth Madigan (1999), “Negotiating Space in the Family Home,” in At Home: An Anthropology of Domestic Space, ed. Irene Cieraad, Syracuse, NY: Syracuse University Press, 107–17.
