Last week, in an over-emotional state, my mind took me to a place where I nearly made some potentially life-changing decisions that I would have sincerely regretted once the mist cleared.
It’s all very well buying new Adidas trainers, a Tommy Hilfiger shirt, and too many books on Amazon. The bank balance will take a hit, but it will be survivable, and no one need know. Bigger decisions like leaving a job, moving to a new area, or ending a relationship, less so.
Emotions can feel like a tidal wave, pushing us in one direction or another. But should we trust these feelings when making big decisions? As with most things, there are pros and cons.
The Pros
Emotions Provide Clarity on Values and Priorities
When we are deeply emotional, it can highlight what truly matters to us. Emotions, especially intense ones like joy, anger, or sadness, can act as signals, showing what we care about most.
For example, if you feel overwhelming frustration at work, it could indicate that your values don’t align with your job. Making decisions during these moments can push us towards choices that better align with our core values and help us live more authentically.
Emotional Decisions Can Be Motivating
In some cases, emotions can act as powerful motivators, driving us to take action. For instance, the excitement of a new opportunity can give us the courage to leave behind a safe but unfulfilling situation.
Similarly, feelings of dissatisfaction or unhappiness can prompt us to make changes that we might otherwise avoid. This surge of motivation can be exactly what’s needed to break free from inertia or make a bold move toward a new chapter in life.
Instinctive Responses May Be Well-Honed
In some situations, especially those where quick decision-making is needed, emotions and gut feelings can be valuable. Our instincts are shaped by a combination of past experiences, intuition, and emotional cues, which can sometimes provide accurate assessments of a situation.
When time is of the essence, allowing your emotional intuition to guide you can be a faster and often effective way to make decisions.
The Cons
Emotions Can Cloud Rational Thinking
On the flip side, making decisions while emotional can lead to impulsivity. Emotions like anger, fear, or excitement can create a sense of urgency that leads to rushed decisions without considering long-term consequences.
So, quitting a job in a moment of frustration without having a backup plan might feel liberating in the short term but could lead to regret once the initial emotion fades.
Emotions Are Temporary, Decisions Can Be Permanent
Emotions are inherently fleeting – they come and go, often changing with time and perspective. However, the decisions we make during those heightened emotional states can have long-lasting effects.
A decision made in anger or sadness might not align with how we feel later when we’re calmer and more reflective.
Making a life-changing choice based on a temporary emotional state can lead to regret once the emotion passes.
Lack of Perspective
When we’re in an emotional state, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Emotions can cause us to focus on specific details of a situation, ignoring other important factors.
For example, after an argument, the urge to end a relationship might overshadow the history, shared experiences, and the potential for resolution.
The heat of the moment can make us overly focused on a particular pain point, preventing us from seeing the situation holistically.
How to Balance Emotion and Logic in Decision-Making
So, should you make big decisions when you’re feeling emotional? In my case, no. The decision nearly made last week could have been disastrous.
However, the reality is that the answer isn’t a simple yes or no. Instead, the key lies in balancing emotion with logic. Here are a few strategies to find that balance that I need to heed:
Take a Pause
If time allows, give yourself a moment to let the initial emotional wave settle. This might mean sleeping on the decision or waiting a few days to see if you still feel the same way. Time can provide valuable perspective.
Talk to a Trusted Friend
Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you see the situation more clearly. Discussing your thoughts with a trusted friend or family member can help you gain a more balanced perspective and evaluate the decision from multiple angle
Write It Out
Putting your thoughts and feelings on paper can help separate the emotions from the facts. It can also help you identify the underlying reasons behind your feelings, providing clarity on whether your decision is emotion-driven or value-driven.
Use the 10/10/10 Rule
Ask yourself how you’ll feel about the decision in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. This exercise can help you weigh short-term emotions against long-term outcomes, making it easier to find a decision that you’ll feel good about in the future.
Scientific research into this field highlights that emotions are not inherently good or bad for decision-making; their impact depends on the situation and the individual’s ability to understand and manage them.
While emotions can cloud judgment and lead to impulsivity, they can also provide valuable insights and guide us toward choices that align with our deeper needs and values.
Recognising when emotions are helping versus hindering our decisions is a crucial skill for making balanced and effective choices.
As for the new Adidas trainers and Tommy Hilfiger shirt, I’m saving them for Christmas.
At least it wasn’t Prada.
